I Want

I want a real-life remote control. I want to be able to push the mute button on talking heads and politicians who are just talking without saying anything of substance. I want to be able to turn on subtitles for both that tell the real truth. I want to rewind them and make them start over until they stop with the verbal diarreha. And if that doesn't work the power button would be a last resort, just shut them down and let them hang there like the stringless puppets they are.