Please Stand By...

Our nation seems to be experiencing technical difficulties. Government at the federal level has ceased functioning in any useful manner and become a monochrome test pattern.

We apologize for any inconvenience, awkwardness, or loss of life this may be causing. Please stand by while the voting public endeavors to rectify this situation in a timely manner. However, this process may take from 1.5 to 5.5 years to complete. Your patience is appreciated.

Thank you.