Lame Jokes
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
Did you hear about the dog with no legs? His owner named him cigarette and took him out for a drag.
Guy comes in the door and yells, "Honey, I won the lottery! Pack your bags!" She comes running, "What should I pack for, hot weather or cold?" He shrugs, "I don't care, just get out."
A preist, a Rabbi, and a Lawyer walk into a saloon and the bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
Salesman rings a doorbell. Door is opened by a boy, eight years old, wearing a top hat and a tutu. He has a large martini in one hand, a cigar in the other.
"Young man, are your parents at home?" asks the salesman.
The boy replies, "What the hell do you think?"
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, hanging on a wall? Art.
What do you call the girl that holds him there? Peg
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, floating in a lake? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, lying on the doorstep? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, water skiiing? Skip.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch? Phil.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Enough.
Post 'em if you got 'em. :-)
Did you hear about the dog with no legs? His owner named him cigarette and took him out for a drag.
Guy comes in the door and yells, "Honey, I won the lottery! Pack your bags!" She comes running, "What should I pack for, hot weather or cold?" He shrugs, "I don't care, just get out."
A preist, a Rabbi, and a Lawyer walk into a saloon and the bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
Salesman rings a doorbell. Door is opened by a boy, eight years old, wearing a top hat and a tutu. He has a large martini in one hand, a cigar in the other.
"Young man, are your parents at home?" asks the salesman.
The boy replies, "What the hell do you think?"
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, hanging on a wall? Art.
What do you call the girl that holds him there? Peg
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, floating in a lake? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, lying on the doorstep? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, water skiiing? Skip.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch? Phil.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Enough.
Post 'em if you got 'em. :-)
posted by pitfinder at 11:03 PM
4 Comments:
What does it say at the top of an irish step ladder?
Stop.
Whats the best thing to put into a pie?
Your teeth.
Thats all I got...I have a terrible memory for jokes.
Why did the dumb guy run into the supermarket dripping wet wearing only a towel?
On the shampoo bottle it says, "Apply, lather, rinse, repeat."
What's 170 meters long, green, and has an I.Q. of 83?
A St. Patrick's Day parade.
What's a seven course meal to an Irishman? A potato and a six pack.
A guy walks into his psychiatrists office wearing only clingwrap. His psychiatrist says "I can clearly see your nuts".
-- I have to collect these kinds - matt's dad's a shrink.
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